Let Go of the Guilt for Good

Let Go of the Guilt for Good

Let Go of the Guilt for Good
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Do you ever get that guilty or “bad” feeling when you want to do something for yourself? If so, you might realise that this feeling is keeping you from having more of what you want - or even from enjoying your life.

Well, thankfully you don’t have to suffer with this guilty feeling every time that you try to get ahead or to help yourself. All you have to do is understand where the feeling comes from and what you can do to get rid of it.

The Root of Guilty Feelings 

There are two kinds of guilty feelings: valid ones and invalid ones.

Valid guilty feelings are those you get when you do something that you know is out of alignment with your personal values.

Believe it or not, these kinds of guilty feelings are your best friends. They remind you you need to change your behaviour, and as long as you respond positively to them, they’ll pass quickly.

For example, if you’re teaching people that borrowing money isn’t a good idea, and that debt keeps people broke, but you’re running up credit cards, you will feel guilty until one of two things happens:

1. You are honest with yourself about the fact that you DO believe in debt, or,

2. You line up your actions with your behaviour.
Otherwise, you’ll go on feeling guilty because your actions are contradicting your personal values. The problem is that the longer you go on this way, the more desensitised you get to guilt.

As a result, your level of self-trust breaks down. Before you try to get rid of guilty feelings, it’s a good idea to determine whether it’s valid guilt or invalid guilt.

If it’s valid, use it as motivation to align your behaviours with your true values. But sometimes the guilty feelings occur because other people are “making” you feel that way.

Your behaviours are out of alignment with *their* values.

They attempt to change your behaviours by convincing you you’re “selfish” for doing things for yourself or that you’re “irresponsible” because you aren’t living your life according to the same rules that they do.

The more you’re exposed to these kinds of people, the more you internalise the belief that they’re right when they say that you’re “selfish” or “irresponsible,” or whatever else they call you when they disapprove of how you’re acting.

Curing the Invalid Guilty Feeling 

The cure for invalid guilty feelings is to realise that you’re not responsible for other people’s values, perceptions, and opinions. You can’t “make” anyone mad or sad or disappointed in you; those are all things which are their responsibility and not yours.

The more you make yourself responsible for these things, the harder a time you’ll have of letting go of the invalid guilty feelings.

No one may tell you how to live your life or to make assumptions about what kind of person you are just because they don’t approve of your actions.

Make a commitment to live your life as you see fit and let other people deal with whether or not they like it, it’s not your problem.

Is It Really Me?

So make it a point to analyse your guilty feelings and ask yourself if they’re because of your own values or someone else’s.

If they’re because of yours, you know that you need to change. If they’re because of someone else’s values, let that be their problem.

TIP: The guilty feelings will persist for a while even when you’re practicing the above strategy, but that’s just because the feelings take a while to catch up with changing your habits.

Be persistent, and the feelings will eventually catch up.

I just want to mention a cool form of hypnosis that allows you to control your mind - and the minds of others. I know that sounds a little creepy, but it’s amazing how it can work and help you get what you want out of life.

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